About The Coaching Relationship
This page is designed to help you understand the nature of coaching and how to get the most from our partnership.
Services To Be Provided |
Coaching is distinct from therapy, which delves into deep-seated issues, often from the past, and unresolved traumas. It is also unlike consulting, which typically provides direct answers. Coaching is action-oriented, concentrating on the present and future. A life coach's role includes helping clients gain clarity, set specific goals, identify and overcome limiting beliefs, develop actionable plans, and provide ongoing support and accountability. Life coaching is about envisioning a compelling future and taking proactive steps toward personal and professional goals.
Responsibility and Scope (Disclaimer) - Clients are solely responsible for their physical, mental, and emotional well-being, decisions, choices, actions, and results from the coaching relationship. Coaching does not involve the diagnosis or treatment of mental disorders as defined by the American Psychiatric Association. It is not a substitute for counseling, therapy, medical care, substance abuse treatment, or other professional advice from legal, medical, or qualified professionals. Clients are encouraged to seek independent professional guidance when needed. Coaching is not therapy and does not replace it if required, nor does it prevent, cure, or treat mental disorders or medical diseases. I do not guarantee specific results, but aim to support your personal growth. Your success depends on your efforts and circumstances beyond my control. |
Ground Rules |
Coaching Agreement - I ask clients to sign a coaching agreement because it establishes the official terms and expectations of our coaching relationship. This legal written agreement covers important details like the duration of our work together, coaching fees, payment terms, and a description of the coaching process. Having a solid contract ensures clarity from the outset, preventing confusion or misunderstandings down the road.
Commitment - I ask clients to make an initial commitment to coaching, and more importantly themselves, for a minimum of 3 months (12 sessions). Benefits of coaching build over time, and time is needed to integrate new habits, fully implement plans and realize goals. The client and coach can discontinue services at any time, although I do request that a seven-day notice is provided in the event you wish to cancel further services. Confidentiality - As a coach, I am committed to maintaining your confidentiality and will not disclose any information about you or anything shared with me during our coaching sessions without your written consent,. Confidentiality may be breached if there is imminent harm to the Client or others, involvement in illegal activity, or as required by a valid court order or subpoena. I do request that you permit me to release your name, contact information and the number of hours that I have coached you to the International Coaching Federation for my on-going certification. Payments - The client pays coaching fees in advance on the 1st day of each month, unless otherwise agreed upon. If you are unable to get a payment to me by the first of the month, I ask that you let me know so we can make other arrangements. You may pay via Venmo. However, please note that only one late payment is permitted within a three-month period. If there are more than one late payment within this period, a late fee of 5% of the total outstanding amount will be applied to each subsequent late payment. Canceling/Missed Appointments - If a client misses an appointment without 24-hour notice or without an unforeseen emergency, you will still be responsible for the coaching fee. If we cannot find another time in that week to reschedule, you will be charged for the originally scheduled session. I will make every effort to accommodate unforeseen circumstances but do ask for mutual respect for schedules. I do not reschedule clients who are no-shows without prior notice. Being 10 minutes or more late to a call will be considered a missed appointment Refund Policy - Refunds will be issued under the following conditions:
Who Calls Who - As the client, you are responsible for calling the coach at the scheduled time. Please arrive on time, fully prepared with an agenda and a clear idea of what you want to achieve during the session |
Discovery Session |
Each coaching partnership begins with a 90 minute Discovery Session. The purpose of the Discovery Session is to get to know you and to get a good read on your current situation. During this session we’ll consciously design how we are going to work together and discuss what it is you want from coaching, where you want your life to go and how you intend on getting there. We'll look at each area of your life; your values, vision and habits, and get clarity on what's working for you and what's not. We'll discuss what you want to initially focus on and begin to develop strategies to get you into action. It is for this reason clients often leave the session with commitments and action steps.
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Completion Session |
When it is time to draw the partnership to a close it is important to conclude in such a way that both client and coach feel a sense of completion and that the client has a vision for the future. Similarly, as in the Discovery Session, it is time to take stock and celebrate, evaluate and recreate! A Completion Session is either conducted during the final scheduled session or the client may request a longer session, similar to the Discovery Session, to complete and create a detailed plan for the future.
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How I Coach Clients |
As your coach, I will inquire, encourage, advise, challenge, make requests, and listen for your truth so that you remain aligned with who you are, your goals, your values, and your vision. My focus will be completely on you and what you want in life; I stand for you first and foremost, not just your goals. The coaching relationship is designed by both of us, and may be refined through ongoing two-way feedback. Even though I am committed to the journey, you will ultimately be responsible for actions taken (or not taken) in your life throughout the process.
I Expect Your Best - We should only be working together if you are ready to do and be your best. If you are not doing your best, I will ask you to do so. If you cannot be your best at the moment, I will understand and do what I can to get you back on your path. I Make Specific Requests - From time to time, I will make a direct request, such as "Will you accomplish X by the end of the month?” You may accept the request, counter-offer (e.g.: “I can’t do X, but I can do Y”) or decline. I will always support you, whichever way you respond. Coaching works best for those who keep their commitments. I Give Advice - I’ll ask at times if it’s okay to make specific suggestions on how to handle a problem or “go-for” an opportunity. My suggestions and/or advice are simply ways to brainstorm alternatives and as always are open for discussion. The ultimate decision is always yours to make. I Am Honest & Direct - It is my job to tell the truth 100% of the time, from a viewpoint of compassion and an intention of your well-being. Occasionally this may take the form of confronting you with a truth that you may prefer to avoid or deny. When I hear a funny tone in your voice or notice something amiss, I will ask you about it, and invite you to take a closer look. It also means that at times I may intrude or interrupt you in mid-story to get you back on track. I Am Tenacious About Your Progress - As you have hired me to help you grow, I believe that some of the most valuable coaching I can deliver to you comes through the tough places you may be unwilling to visit on your own. That might come in the form of challenging questions, assignments designed to challenge your comfort zones, accountability to your commitments, and an occasional gentle and always caring "kick in the behind." I Hold You Accountable – That means I expect that you will keep your word, be on time, honor your commitments, and do what you say you will do. I Give Homework - I typically ask you to determine two or three goals or actions to focus on between our calls. If I am pushing you too much, say so. If you want to be pushed harder, just ask. I’m Here For You - I want to hear it all. If you have a personal problem, are upset with something, are just starting to realize something big, or can't wait to share a breakthrough, please call or e-mail me — anytime. I have time between our regular calls, and enjoy providing this extra level of service. I do not bill for this type of additional time I only request that you keep extra calls to a maximum of 10 to 15 minutes each. |
How To Get The Most Out Of Coaching |
I want you to benefit greatly from our coaching calls and the time in between. This guide briefly outlines some of the things you can do to maximize the value of your coaching experience.
Get To Know Yourself Newly - Working with a sensitive and empathic coach is a healthy way to grow. Most clients hire a coach to work on specific goals, and much of the time focus on these objectives. Yet, with coaching, many clients discover new parts of themselves, and find they can adjust their goals to be more in alignment with who they really are. This discovery process is natural, and you do not need to concentrate on it, just realize it will likely happen. Accelerated personal and professional growth is the hallmark of coaching. Focus On What You Really Want - Coaching works best when you have clear goals that are based on your true values. First, I encourage you to deeply consider what you want your life to look like. Then, identify the gaps between the way things are now and how you would like them to be. Many people struggle with this, so if you are unsure about what it is you really want to achieve, coaching is an excellent tool that can provide you with greater clarity. Double Your Level Of Willingness - Part of working with me as your coach is that I will ask a lot of you. Not too much I hope, but perhaps more than you may have been asked recently. I request that you be willing to experiment with fresh approaches and try new beliefs. I will invite you to tell the absolute truth, raise your personal standards, and set higher goals. Ultimately, you need to decide what is best for you; however, the more willing you are to grow, the greater the benefits from coaching. Come Prepared To Each Coaching Call - To get the most value out of the coaching session, I request that you prepare for each call. We have a set amount of time together and you’ll want to have a written list of the things you want to share and discuss. This will help you get what you want from the call. Many of my clients use the provided “Coaching Prep Form” which is an important tool that assists us in staying focused on your agenda during our Coaching session. Investing that small amount of time to prepare for the call and emailing me this form beforehand, will have a huge impact on our session. Do Your Homework - Each week you will decide on the actions or goals you want to focus. I expect you to keep the commitments you make and will work with you to make sure you are setting worthwhile, realistic and achievable objectives. If you know that a busy week is ahead, your homework might be as simple as thinking about a new perspective. If you have more time, you might decide to handle a big task. Regardless, I will hold you accountable and encourage you to do your best. Make Our Coaching Relationship Powerful - The client understands that the power of the coaching relationship can be granted only by the client, and the client agrees to do just that: have the coaching relationship be powerful. If you believe the coaching is not working as desired or if I say or do anything that upsets you, you will bring it to my attention immediately so that we can resolve it. The objective is to have a coaching relationship that is fully open, honest, real and trusting in our communication styles. |
Coaching Glossary |
Accountability: What are you going to do? By when will you do this? How will I know?
Ally (a.k.a. Leader Within): Your ally is the positive inner voice that challenges your Saboteur. They are the leader within that show up as the voice of self-compassion, kindness, wisdom, clarity and understanding. They believe in you and love you unconditionally no matter what. They are fearless and relentless in their pursuit of the very best for you. They are your greatest supporters and biggest fans. We call on our allies to lead us in the face of fear and uncertainty. We ask them to step in and replace the negative voices that limit us. Bottom-Lining: This is the skill of brevity and succinctness on the part of both the coach and the client. Bottom-lining is also about having the client get to the essence of his or her communication rather than engaging in long descriptive stories. Brainstorming: In this skill the coach and client together generate ideas, alternatives, and possible solutions. Some of the proposed ideas may be outrageous and impractical. This is merely a creative exercise to expand the possibilities available to the client. There is no attachment on the part of either coach or client to any of the ideas suggested. Challenging: Challenging involves requesting that a client stretch way beyond his or her self-imposed limits. Challenges are outrageous requests! Frequently, in the face of a challenge, clients will be blown away by the “hugeness” of the challenge. It will open them up to a grander possibility for their life. If they are unwilling to fully take on the challenge, they frequently respond with a counteroffer that is greater than they initially would have allowed themselves to make. Clearing: When the client is preoccupied with a situation or a mental state that interferes with his or her ability to be present or take action, the coach assists the client by being an active listener while he or she vents or complains. This active listening allows the client to temporarily clear the situation out of the way and refocus on the coaching session. Usually a two-minute time frame is given for this venting period. Co-Active Coaching Model: Click here to learn more about the co-active coaching model.. Commitments: A commitment is different from a goal in that it is an ongoing quality-of-life shift. A commitment is not measurable. It may have to do with the state or quality of being you want to create in your life. “I am committed to making a difference in the world through my work,” “I am committed to having open communication with my children,” or “I am committed to a healthful lifestyle and a fit body” are all examples of commitments. Designing the Alliance: How do you want to be coached? Clients design the alliance that will be most beneficial to and supportive of forwarding their actions toward their goals and vision. This is done through making requests of the coach, setting up the logistics of the coaching relationship, and discussing the best ways to facilitate client learning and action. When clients grant power to the alliance, it then becomes necessary for the client to take responsibility for their part of the alliance. This is the “container” in which the coaching takes place. Fulfillment: Living your values. A fulfilling life is a valued life. It’s what nourishes you…what fills you up. It is both intensely personal and constantly evolving. Future Self (a.k.a Ally): Together through guided imagery we will create your Future Self. Your Future Self represents the person you are becoming, the person you are wanting to be - and deep down already are. During our coaching relationship, your Future Self will become a powerful ally and inner resource for you whenever you need to seek guidance or need to know what your next step should be. Your Future Self's support will enable you to feel confident moving forward in your actions and choices. It is your inner voice that speaks from a place where your deepest values, desires, and visions for your life live and thrive. You know if you listen to this voice, you can’t go wrong. Goals: A goal is an outcome that the client would like to achieve. Goals are most helpful when they are measurable, specific, are owned by the client, have a date by which they will be accomplished, made public (in order to achieve support and accountability) and constitute a reasonable stretch for the client. Inquiry: When a powerful question is given at the end of the session, it is intended to deepen the client’s learning and provoke further reflection. The intention is for the client to consider the inquiry between sessions and to see what occurs for them. The inquiry is usually based upon a particular situation that the client is currently addressing. Intrude/Take Charge: On occasion, the coach may need to intrude, to interrupt or wake-up a client who is going on and on, or who is kidding themselves. Sometimes the intrusion is a hard truth such as “You are kidding yourself.” Sometimes the intrusion is simply stating what is going on, such as “You are skirting the issue.” Intrusion is considered rude in American society. I view intrusion as being direct with the client, allowing the client to honestly assess and immediately deal with situations. Life Purpose: Life Purpose is about why you are here on the planet. Who is it that you are moved to be and what is it that you are moved to create? It is an essence statement that serves as a reminder of who you are and the impact that you naturally create in the world. When you are living you purpose, life is experienced as fulfilling, effortless and satisfying. When you are disregarding your life purpose, life is often felt to be empty, anguished and unfulfilling. Perspective: It is a state you are in. A way of looking at reality. The key point is that there are always other ways of looking at a situation that are also true. Process: Being “in process” is to be wherever you are in the flowing river of your life! Sometimes it’s calm & smooth; other times it’s chaotic and messy. To be truly present in THIS moment, we need to turn off worries about the past & the future and just experience where we’re at right now. To truly experience a moment, we need to truly feel it - no matter how painful or joyful it is! Requesting: One of the most potent coaching skills is that of making a request of the client. The request, based upon the client’s agenda, is designed to forward the client’s action. The request includes a specified action, conditions of satisfaction and a date or time by which it will be done. There are four possible responses to a request, 1) yes, 2) no, 3) a counter offer or, 4) agree to a future time that a response will be given. Saboteur: Each of us has our very own special saboteur. The saboteur is the voice in your head that says, You are not good enough or Who do you think you are? or If you take this new job, everyone will find out what a fraud you are. The saboteur mistakenly believes that it is protecting you when it stops you from making changes or taking a risk. We hear the saboteur's voice any time we judge ourselves or assume that someone else is judging us. It's important to remember that you are not your saboteur. The saboteur is that limiting belief or thought that stops you from taking risks, growing and moving forward in your life. By learning to distinguish between your voice and the saboteur's messages you can become aware of the saboteur's ability to drive your choices and decisions. By releasing those beliefs that limits you, you are then able to make choices that put you back in the driver's seat of your life, ultimately allowing you to fulfill your potential. Take a Saboteur Assessment Test to learn more.: S.M.A.R.T Goals: S.M.A.R.T goals are a framework used to set specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, and time-bound objectives. Each letter in S.M.A.R.T represents a key aspect of effective goal-setting: Click here to learn more about S.M.A.R.T Goals. Structures: A structure is a method for helping people remember and take action on what is designated as important. For example, putting a note in your calendar is a simple structure for jogging the memory and getting you to take a desired action. But a structure will work only if you notice it. Whether or not you do what the structure indicates, the structure will lead to learning. Values: Values are who we are. Not who we would like to be, not who we think we should be, but who we are in our lives, right now. Another way to put it is that values represent our unique and individual essence, our ultimate and most fulfilling form of expressing and relating. Our values serve as a compass pointing out what it means to be true to oneself. When we honor our values on a regular and consistent basis, life is good and fulfilling. |
Congratulations for embarking on this journey! I look forward to working together and supporting you in achieving whatever it is you really want. If you have any more questions, don't hesitate to be in touch.